00-01-01

by bis on January 23, 2017 at 5:59 pm

Chapter: 00-01

Phew! Well! I hope y’all enjoyed this first update! Stay tuned for updates every Friday. 😀

SGoetter

first
- ESMahony
  
  Thanks for your support, Sara!
emanuel

second
- ESMahony
  
  Thanks emanuel! Hope you’re enjoying the comic so far!
cait

third
- ESMahony
  
  Thanks for reading, Cait!
Potato Patato Von Spudsworth 3

…wha? You mean… I wasn’t first? After I did my First Dance and everything? OH THE HUMILITY! OH THE SOUL-RENDING DESPAIR! I SHALL NEVER COMMENT AGAIN!
*sob*
- ESMahony
  
  We hope you comment again (even if you’re not always the first comment), Potato!
  - Spud For Hire!
    
    So, Mr. Spudsworth is off crying under his bed right now. He sent me to comment on his behalf, since, apparently, “the sight of the keyboard, doomed to remain forever in second place, sends nothing but endless torment trickling between the countless crevices of his shattered heart”.
    uh…
    I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing here. I’m just a lackey.
    - Spud For Hire!
      
      So, I’m back. I asked Mr. Spudsworth what to do, and somewhere in between “everlasting woe” and “A vile cocktail of chagrin and misery” I think he said something about making comments on this comic. I think I’m supposed to make it sound like it’s his comments, though?
      
      So, uh, here goes, I guess!
      
      *Ahem*
      - Defiantly Mr. Spudsworth
        
        Oh no! Something bad is happening! There is fire! And a distressed human! Lots of green! I appreciate the drawings! They are good drawings! I wish I could draw those drawings! Wow! As the real and genuine Mr. Potato Patato Von Spudsworth The Third, I declare that I like these drawings!
      - Spud For Hire!
        
        There! You can’t even tell them apart! I bet I’ll get a promotion for this!
      - Rawman
        
        Truly good show! Are you one of those comment elementals?
        I heard of those internet beings, who can bend a discuss brunch, with just a left pinky of their mind.
        Some say, your kind is feasting on tormented souls of your followers. But i believe, those are just rumors of weak-minded commoners.
        Is it true, that you’re existing just on votes and attention?
        
        P.s. Lovely setup there guys.
      - Spud For Hire!
        
        I asked Mr. Spudsworth how I should respond, and he screamed “THEY’RE ON TO US”.
        Then he pulled out a walkie talkie and started yelling something about “Operation Omega”.
        Then he told me to “permanently silence” you the next time we met. And to, uh, leave no witnesses.
        
        I’m kind of new to this whole hitman-assassin thing. I only got this job because my mom is friends with Mr. Spudsworth’s brother, Murphy.
        Could you do me a favour and tell me where you live, and if you have any horribly lethal allergies that I can take advantage of? Or…where to buy undetectable poison? Or where I’m supposed to hide your body? I tried googling it, and then we got visited by this grumpy guy in a suit, who kept waiving around a little badge…and Mr. Spudsworth got really mad at me…
        
        I tried asking about my promotion, but I don’t think he was listening.
      - Mr. Postman
        
        My dear boy, Spud!
        
        I hope this letter will find you in good health and spirit.
        I was deeply saddened to hear, that your relationship with your employer, Mr. Spudworth, were escalated so quickly.
        I hope it won’t affect on your mother’s affair with Murphy Spudsworth.
        Although I think that she deserves better than than son-of-a-Beta-vulgaris, I must respect her freedom of choice.
        
        As for your request, here’s list of answers in order to questions from your last message:
        
        1. I live in Siberia;
        2. I’m allergic only to weakness;
        3. I heard you can find a good deal on darknet by using TOR;
        4. I fear that ground is too hard to dig a hole in this season, nor to find a deep unfreazed river.
        
        Now, be a good potato, and give kiss from me to your mother.
        Sincerely yours, uncle Rawman.
        
        P.s.: Next time you ask Mr. Spudworth for a promotion, try to imagine him naked and use more blackmailing. It usually works fine for me.
      - Spud For Hire!
        
        Weakness, huh? Mr. Spudsworth says I’m “overstocked on weakness”. Maybe this is what he meant! I found Siberia on a map, too. It doesn’t look TOO big. I bet it won’t take me that long to find you at all!
        
        Oh, and thanks for the advice! I’ll be sure to use it!